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Two: The New Loneliest Number. September 25, 2011

Posted by laosita in diabetes.
Tags: ,

Sweetie! Wake up- are you okay?

Checking Dex hoping five minutes has gone by, three Capri-Suns, four blood tests, mistaking pj pants for a cotton ball, and an almost hospital phone call later…Yeah, I’m fine. I am fine because you are here. I am fine because I can test my blood sugar and locate juice in my sleep, drunk, while driving, while flying. But, what if you were not here?

In a poorly SWAG effort to cover brownie dough, beer, and pizza I unintentionally introduced a dear friend to things a diabetic fears most.

In a time not so long ago, there were three of us. Someone woke me up if I didn’t hear my Dexcom, got me juice, who waited through my crabbiness until the low passed. Who double checked that I had strips, a meter, tape, syringes, needles and  insulin before leaving for a day trip or a weekend. Who helped find the best adhesives, find new CGM sites and count to three before hitting the Dexcom plunger. I became accustomed to this- never taking his actions for granted, but getting use to the help, support and safety (no- he didn’t die, I’m just dramatic).

But now there are just two of us – me and my diabetes. I must set an alarm at 3 AM if I am expecting a difficult diabetes night. My tummy is overused because I can’t reach my back for new sensor placements. My achievements and disappointments after a doctor’s visit are only mine, to talk about amongst myself (or with my cat, who doesn’t generally offer much insight).

Then I remembered all the blogs that I read every day lunch- Kerry, Kim, Jacquie, and so many more. I realized that I am supported even if unknowingly so. Diabetes and I have lived together for a long, long time; and we can and will do it again, but this time with the help of the DOC. Diabetes and I might be stuck together; but never again is it ever just the two of us.



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