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104 February 20, 2013

Posted by laosita in diabetes.
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The other night that number showed up on my meter display. My actual meter. (Note for those with functioning pancreases- blood glucose meter companies often show a ‘perfect’ blood check value on the meter packaging and advertisements. That number is often 104. In real life something, often inexplicable, went way right for that number to show up).

Those damn meter companies, I thought, that is the actual perfect number. I had exercised and sipped a cup of hot chocolate before bed. I accounted for both activities, but at night who knows exactly what will go down…or up.

103 would have made me just a tad concerned about dropping low in the next few hours while I attempted sleep.

105 would have made me consider a half unit bolus to cover any possible increase in the next few hours.

A one-point change that causes two very different reactions is ridiculous. I recognize this. One Point. Had I checked a second time, the chances of getting 104 are next to zero. Dex said 109. Yet I confidently went to bed with my 104. (Sure enough, I had a solid night of in range numbers.)

I would never aim for 104. Aiming for one number, a specific perfect number, sets me up to fail. I fail often enough with diabetes and even if the failure truly was not my fault, it sure can feel that way. Instead, I’ll aim to be around 104. I have a range of numbers that I am happy about. I have a range of numbers that make me worried. I have a range of numbers that piss me off. But not one number, one time.

Not even 104.

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Comments»

1. Scott K. Johnson - February 20, 2013

Pictures or it didn’t happen…

J/K! 🙂

2. Karen - February 21, 2013

“I fail often enough with diabetes and even if the failure truly was not my fault, it sure can feel that way.”

Me too me too me too!!!!! How do we stop letting those numbers make us feel like we failed???? Not sure it’s possible, so I guess we should celebrate your 104 and, more importantly, your whole night of in-range numbers!!

laosita - February 22, 2013

There’s a fine line between recognizing that those numbers do reflect something important; but that one number, or a few numbers, do not equate to failure. Or to your abilities as a diabetes master :). Yay for a night of in-range numbers!!!

3. Katy - February 23, 2013

I have never, ever, ever seen a 104.

4. Jillian - March 12, 2013

When I was aiming to be at 120 on average, every time I hit it, I would say (sometimes secretly to myself, sometimes out loud) I’m perfect!

laosita - March 12, 2013

Ha, I can imagine you talking to yourself, or meter, or dog… You are perfect, just with a goofy pancreas! Thanks for the comment Jillian!


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