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When the Star Player Goes Down December 17, 2013

Posted by laosita in diabetes.
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I didn’t expect the appointment to go well. I recently switched back to multiple daily injections (MDI), and struggled to maintain a solid focus on waiting to eat, carb counting and over treating. I expected about a week of mountain-range style numbers while I adjusted my insulin dosages as compared the pump.

But not two months of drastic up and down numbers. Two months (for me) is more than an adjustment period – that’s frustration, emotion, lack of caring, lack of effort, lack of interest and not enough time to ‘fix’ it all before my next endo appointment.

I knew how to fix what was wrong. I just wasn’t doing it. I knew I would walk into this appointment feeling somewhat guilty, unprepared and defeated. I expected to leave slightly motivated, but not necessarily encouraged for the long haul.

But my endo team cared. Nobody was disappointed in me. Nobody was mad at me. Nobody made me feel guilty or like I had failed. Nobody insinuated that I was dumb or incapable.

My endo team cared. My nurse cared that I was am struggling, and provided a few simple things to work on. My endo was worried about my too-close-for-comfort-night-lows that some people don’t wake up from, or wake up from in the ER. He wasn’t worried about my highs. Other people don’t worry about these things because I don’t often share. But at the endo’s, that is his sole focus – to help me keep me safe and healthy.

I left feeling cared about. I could handle the few things my team suggested. I wasn’t overwhelmed with my failures or the solutions. My endo team IS a team. A team where I am the star player. A team where if the star player is hurt, the team rallies. A team that pushes you to be better, catches you if you fall and helps you back on your feet.

That’s a team I want. And it’s a team I need to remember that I AM on.

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